


Put To Good Use

by themaybedoctor



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Asian-American Character, Gen, Major Original Character(s), Ninth Doctor Era, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Racist Language, TARDIS rooms, United States
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5473427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themaybedoctor/pseuds/themaybedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A twelve-year-old girl finds the TARDIS one day while the Doctor is off saving the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put To Good Use

I met the Doctor because of my jeans.   
They were too short for me by about four inches. I was painfully aware of every millimeter, but there wasn’t much I could do since my mother didn’t think I needed new ones “as long as they fit around the middle. And besides, you can always roll them up so they look like capris.” I didn’t really care about appearances, but eighth-grade girls tend to notice and comment whether you like it or not. And just my luck, my seat in homeroom was at the right hand of The Judgement Committee itself.  
Lindsay, Christina, and Britney sat in a neat little column on the far right of the classroom, as far away from the teacher as you could get. (I don’t know how they managed it; they must have done some kind of subliminal mind-control during the seating arrangements.) Every day, Lindsay and Christina would give me a charming combination of a look-up-and-down and a sneer, but Britney liked to take it a step farther.  
“Nice clothes, Soojin.”  
I would ignore this.  
“I know you can hear me. Don’t you know how to take a compliment?”  
“Thank you,” I would mutter.  
“Oh my gawd, I’m being sarcastic. Like I would compliment that.”  
At that, I would clench my teeth and press my pencil down a little harder than normal. I never talked back to her or let anyone know what was going on. With anyone else, I would, but with Britney and her “friends” it just wasn’t worth it. The last girl who tried to take them on had needed counseling and a transfer to another school, and they had walked away without a blemish on their records. I only had to do this for one more year, and then I would be off to high school, where hopefully they would find new people to torment. Or at least, that’s what I told myself. What I really wanted to do was to turn around and punch their delicate noses as hard as I could. Just once.  
My mother wouldn’t care, but my grandmother would. Every time I got into a fight or came home with a less-than-A grade, she would always get this look, like I’d stomped on a fairy or something. She’d talked to me like I was an adult ever since I could remember, and she never yelled. She just got all quiet and disappointed. To me, that was worse than any grounding of the type my classmates moaned about. So I kept my teeth ground shut and forced myself to hold it in.  
I would have done it. I really would have. I managed right up until Grandma had a stroke, at 3 am on a school night. She was smart, and she knew what was happening when her speech started to get garbled, so she called 911 and was saved from the worst of the brain damage. I was glad she wasn’t going to be shoveled into a hole, but I was still miserable. Up until then, I’d just assumed she’d carry on forever, or until I was middle-aged. Same difference.  
And naturally, a week after that Britney decided to see just exactly where my breaking point was.  
“Hey Soojin, nice pants. Have you gotten any new ones since you were five?”  
(My white classmates found my Korean name endlessly funny. Never mind that I didn’t actually speak Korean, since I’d been raised by my white mother.)  
I grunted.   
“Seriously, I can see like halfway up your nasty hairy legs.”  
That hit home. My mother wouldn’t let me shave; she said I still wasn’t old enough no matter how much I begged. I struggled to keep my face neutral, and tucked my legs on the other side of the desk, but she knew she’d gotten to me now. She smirked and surreptitiously checked her expensive smartphone.   
“Seriously, Soojin, you should buy yourself something that doesn’t look like it came from a Salvation Army sale.” Lindsay and Christina giggled like they were on cue or something. Hell, they probably were. “Or I know, you could get one of those burka things that Muslim women wear and then nobody would have to look at you at all!”  
That did it. I carefully put down my pencil and looked her in the eye.  
“My name, since you’ve apparently gone deaf during every roll call, is JIN. Also, I can wear whatever the hell I want, and you can shove your opinions about it up your fat ass.”  
I almost didn’t register the words as they came out. It was like someone else had taken over my tongue. The evil trio looked at me in utter shock for perhaps a millisecond, which changed immediately into something that terrified me. I had to get out of here. I almost tripped over my backpack walking up to the front for a bathroom pass.  
When I got there, I leaned against the wall and tried to breathe. Maybe I could be sick? No, there were still three weeks left in the school year. I’d have to come back, and that would just give them more time to plan…   
But now the door to the bathroom was opening, so I stood up and tried to act natural, and oh my god here were all effing three of them! Seriously, how stupid could the teacher be to let them all go at once!?   
I braced myself for a fight, but they weren’t interested. Lindsay and Christina grabbed an arm each, and Britney grabbed my… hair? In a flash of awful insight, I understood exactly what was going on. I fought and writhed harder than I ever had in my life, swearing as creatively as I knew how as they dragged me to the handicap stall and forced me down in front of the toilet.  
“Have you ever had a swirly, chinky girl? I hope you haven’t. I would love to give you your very first one,“ Britney said with chirpy nastiness.   
I tried to turn my head away, but she had a death grip on my hair, her stubby little fingers snarled in. I stared into the bowl, trying desperately to think of something. If I got one of them off me, then the other two would just hold on even harder. What I needed, was a diversion--  
Suddenly, I had an idea. Using a move my grandmother had taught me in case a man grabbed me off the street, I freed my right wrist from Lindsay’s grip, reached into Britney’s back pocket, and threw her brand-new phone into the toilet.   
The hands in my hair vanished instantly as Britney dived toward the toilet. I wrenched my other wrist out of Christina’s distracted grip and sprinted out as fast as I could. A piercing “You little bitch!” followed me out the door.  
I don’t know what I expected to happen after that. I knew I wouldn’t go unpunished, but they were more dedicated that I’d thought. Who knew bullying was such serious work? As soon as the bell rang, I ran pell-mell away from the school, but they were ready and I couldn’t lose them. I knew I couldn’t go straight home. For one, I didn’t really want them to see our mobile home, but more importantly, I would never be able to really escape them again if they knew where I lived. Visions of eggings and broken windows dancing in my head, I zig-zagged crazily through streets I’d never seen before, hoping I could still remember the way back.  
They were closer now. All three of them were on sports teams, and I huffed and puffed through the half-mile in PE. My only chance was to hide. I made a few more abrupt turns and headed straight down an alley, intending to run out the other side and find a store to slip into. But the alley was blocked! A blue box, like an old-fashioned telephone booth, sat wedged in between the walls as tight as a cork in a bottle. I turned around to go back, but the Furies of Hades were already there, sprinting towards me.   
I turned back to the blue box and yanked at the doors.   
Nothing.   
I yanked again. Still nothing.   
They were closer now-- “Give up! You’re dead, chinky girl!” I pounded on the doors. “Open! Please! Please open up, please, please!” I yelled at the doors, hysterical. What would they do to me? Just beat me up? Maybe strip me naked, too? Or something worse, something unimaginable? They were only ten feet away now. I had almost given up, when suddenly the doors swung open with a creak. I fell forward into cool darkness.   
…  
I whirled around to close the doors, but they swung shut by themselves. I could hear the three of them yanking at the doors, but they didn’t seem to be interested in opening again. Just in case, I pressed myself against the doors as hard as I could. They kept at it for only a few minutes. Thank god they were easily bored. I had almost started to relax a little when Britney’s voice came through, loud and clear:  
“We’re leaving now, chinky girl. But don’t think we’re done with you. When we see you at school you’ll wish you were dead.”  
“Too late for that,” I said under my breath. I listened to them walk away, and slowly slid down the doors. I wasn’t going to risk coming out for a while, just in case they were waiting around the corner.   
My eyes burned, and I blinked hard. I couldn’t stop the tears, though. I rarely ever cried, but when I did it came in floods. I was almost glad I wasn’t home. My sobs were so loud that the neighbors would have been able to hear me. As it was, they made dramatic echoes around the dark chamber.  
Wait… echoes?  
I sat up. Tentatively I stretched my arm out in front of me, expecting to meet a solid wall---but there was nothing. I wiped my eyes and blinked as they adjusted, then blinked again as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing.   
This was… this couldn’t be real! This room was impossible! I hadn’t gone down any stairs, so I couldn’t be underground, and I had seen the street from the other side of this odd box. So, this was magic, or science beyond anything I’d ever seen before. Well, same thing, as the saying goes. I pondered the impossible physics for a second-- was it a portal to another dimension, or had they managed to get atoms to occupy the same point in space at once…? I gave up. I was pretty sure this would baffle the most prestigious physics professors. Unless this was some sort of government project, a top-secret, you-know-too-much-now-we-have-to-kill-you sort of thing? I rejected that idea. If the government knew about this, it’d be stuck behind every kind of security known to man. It belonged to someone who didn’t want to be noticed, obviously. Maybe not even a human someone.  
I shivered, and then, probably against my better judgement, I walked forward. The floor was solid beneath my feet. So it was real, then, not a hallucination. It looked like it had been built with humans in mind, or at least something humanoid. It had a big control panel right in the middle of the room, demanding to be noticed. I walked slowly around it, occasionally brushing the instruments softly with my fingers.   
Why was it here? That was the real mystery. This town was patently uninteresting; anyone spying on us would get bored quick. Had someone built it here? No, they couldn’t have, why would they stick it in a tiny alleyway? For that matter, how had it gotten here?! It looked as if it had been dropped here like a piece of popcorn between couch cushions. It must be able to move-- could it turn into a spaceship? It must. Phone-booth shaped things weren’t very aerodynamic.   
And when was the owner coming back? I pulled my hand abruptly away from the console. He (or she, or maybe even it) might not like me being in here. I should leave. It was only logical.   
But I couldn’t. This was, without a doubt, the most interesting thing ever to happen to me. If I walked out now, I’d regret this for the rest of my life.  
I couldn’t just go, when there was obviously so much more to learn. And the doors had opened for me, hadn’t they? I hadn’t broken in, I had been allowed. The opening of the doors hadn’t felt like an accident. A decision had been made, but by whom?  
I was about to try and find a good hiding place, so I could spy on the owner, when a soft golden light caught my eye. It was coming from a weird little grille in the control panel. Actually, it looked more like massive honeycomb than anything. And was it—humming? Not even an electronic sort of hum; it sounded like a human voice. I reached out my hand.  
The instant my fingers made contact, a jolt like an electric shock went through my body. I gasped and whipped my hand back like I’d been burned. I stared at the spot I’d touched, breathing hard.  
After a few moments, I realized that my hand didn’t hurt. Or any other part of me, for that matter. Not an electric shock, then. I frowned at my hand and tried to make sense of my impressions. The shock hadn’t hurt—it had been more like someone turning up the volume on all my senses. And there had been something else, too… a really excited feeling. But not my excited feeling. It had felt foreign, like it had been planted there.   
I stared at the grille.  
I shouldn’t touch it again, I thought. There are a million reasons why not. A million, gazillion reasons.  
I couldn’t look away. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. My mouth crept up in a half-grin, remembering Grandma’s face as she used that expression. I could hear her now: You go out and live a little, dear. No whining about woulda-coulda’s.  
I took a sharp breath in, steeled myself, and placed my palm firmly on the grille. As before, my senses were flooded with more information than they could handle. My ears were suddenly full of rushing and ringing and strains of music, my eyes saw flashes of light and darkness and swirling color, and my skin felt like goosebumps and hot water and icy wind, all at once. I would have staggered back, but I wasn’t really in control anymore. That strange excitement was back, and it came attached to a presence that seemed to be holding me in place. It occurred to me that I should be terrified.   
And yet, I simply couldn’t muster up any terror, or even unease. The presence, as strange and alien as it was, radiated joy like a fire radiating heat. It was happy that I was here, and that I had touched it, and it wanted me to stay. It must have been able to tell that I was overwhelmed though, because the sensory overload ebbed way back. I sighed and slumped in relief.   
Immediately, the joy changed to concern.   
Oh, don’t worry, I thought reflexively. I’m fine. A tendril of relief snaked through the concern, but the concern didn’t disappear entirely.   
You can understand me?  
Now the presence sent me an amused feeling, with a hint of superiority. I suddenly felt a conviction that it understood nearly everything in all the universes, and I was just a tiny, insignificant piece of the swirling heavens.   
Well, fine then. Sorry I’m not more of a challenge for you.   
The amusement grew stronger.  
Um… can you tell me anything about this place? I don’t even know where to begin on the questions, and you seem to have me all figured out already so I bet you can predict ‘em.  
This time I got a pleased sort of feeling. I had stroked its ego. No, not “it”- “she”, I decided. Not because it felt particularly feminine, but its presence reminded me so much of my grandmother that “she” just seemed right. As I came to that conclusion, I felt a feeling of approval mixed with a wistful amusement.   
She began to send me a stream of memories. They played out in my head like daydreams- impressions of sights and sounds, with her opinions and theories mixed in.   
She remembered her own creation, oddly enough. Stranger still, she seemed to have existed for several millennia, but she only cared to talk about the last two or so. She’d had many operators, but only the current one mattered. He was special, you could tell. Her emotions ranged from doting to protective to exasperated when she tried to make me understand who he was, what he was. Aliens, I thought, a little smug that I’d guessed right. She never explained exactly what she was, but as the story went along I realized the magnitude of her abilities. She could do anything- go anywhere, anytime, with anyone. She was also unfathomably massive- not just bigger on the inside, infinite on the inside. When she was done, she pulled away from me until there was barely a connection at all. I was puzzled, and a little hurt, until I realized that my head was spinning and my body was starting to pitch forward. Hastily, I sat down on the floor.  
Wow.  
I giggled to myself as my head slowly returned to normal. This blew every other day of my life out of the water—and there was still more to see!   
When I felt well enough to stand, I walked around the control room with a bit of a swagger in my step. I had permission from the lady of the house herself and you bet I was going to check it all out. I spotted some steps that led to another door and raced up them two at a time.  
…  
Three hours later, I somehow found myself back in the control room. I decided that the TARDIS—she had informed me that her operator called her that when other people were listening—must have had something to do with it, because I had lost my way five minutes into my self-guided tour. Among other things, there had been a pool room, a swimming pool, a library, a movie theater, a stage, a massage room, a conservatory (complete with actual sunlight streaming in through the windows), an artist’s studio, several laboratories, a department-store-sized closet, multiple bedrooms (although none showed signs of being slept in), and, bizarrely, a room filled with dozens of identical hats. This guy—alien?—knows how to live, I thought. If I lived here, I’d never want to leave.   
Back in the control room, the thoughts I’d been shoving to the back of my mind fought their way stubbornly to the front. I needed to go home. Not that my mother would care, or notice, but if my watch was right it would be getting dark soon.  
I didn’t want to leave, though. The TARDIS was like an alien palace, mysterious and beautiful and fascinating, and I knew I’d just scratched her surface. But more than that, I knew that she could be gone in an instant, never to return, and I’d be stuck wondering if somebody had slipped me acid this morning for the rest of my life.   
But I also couldn’t just stay here forever. My grandmother would miss me, and I was still only twelve. Maybe if I were older and unattached, I could do it, but not now. Not here.   
I sat on the steps, struggling with myself and glancing at my watch every few minutes. Finally, I stood up and stomped back over to the little grille. I put my hand inside and allowed the TARDIS’s presence wash over me, trying to convey the source of my frustration.  
She sent me a rush of sympathy. I suspected she had seen many people before me make this decision, and it must hurt to watch that over and over.   
Can you wait for me? I asked timidly. I know you go where he says, but could you, I don’t know, break down if he tries to leave tomorrow?  
Immediately I was hit by a wave of offendedness. She was not a tool, to be used at anyone’s whim, thank you very much; she was a partner in his endeavors, if not the leader. I could almost hear her sniff, and concealed a smile.   
Next, she sent me images that didn’t make sense at first—the outside of the TARDIS, random instruments on the control panel. I was on the point of asking what she meant, when it clicked. The outside of the TARDIS was decked in cobwebs, and the instruments had gathered a substantial layer of dust. He hadn’t been back in a long time. A flash of annoyance coursed through me—how could he leave her like that, all alone for so long?—which was replaced by worry. Was he all right?   
She sent me an emotion that felt like an eye-roll. This happened a lot, it seemed, and he came back banged-up and frantic but he always turned out all right. That didn’t sound too comforting to me, but I let it drop.   
Will you be here, then? I asked again, pleading this time. If I come back tomorrow?  
Yes.  
…  
Thank god the next day was Saturday. I woke up at six a.m. to my usual alarm and was about to slam the “off” button when I realized why I’d left it on. I lay back in bed, wide awake but completely still. Had it been real? Why hadn’t I taken something off the TARDIS to prove it; one of those ridiculous hats or something?   
I lay paralyzed with indecision for a while, before deciding “screw it” and brutally yanking myself out of bed. Mom always slept late on Saturdays; they were her only day off from her job at the laundromat. Not that it really mattered, I was free to come and go as I pleased. I remembered being surprised when I was younger that other kids’ parents still walked them to the bus stop after the first day. My mother figured that I would be fine by myself once I knew where things were, and if I wasn’t, oh well.   
I almost ran out the door as soon as I was dressed, but I stopped myself. If the TARDIS was still there, she could wait twenty more minutes for me to get completely ready. I forced down a bowl of cereal and packed a lunch—I hadn’t seen a kitchen on my wander-through the day before. As an afterthought, I packed an emergency bag: first aid kit, Swiss Army knife, jacket. I wasn’t planning on doing anything stupid, but after hearing about the scrapes the TARDIS had gotten into with her pilot, I wasn’t taking any chances.   
It took me longer than I thought to find her again. I had decided to just retrace my steps from the day before, but running away from people who will kick your ass when they catch you isn’t the most straightforward way to get somewhere. When I finally got to the alley that I knew must be the one, I hesitated. What if it hadn’t been real? What if she was gone? What if she’d changed her mind, and decided not to let me back in?  
Don’t be stupid, I scolded myself. If she’s there, she’ll let you in.   
I took a deep breath, held it, and looked around the corner.


End file.
